I just got a wake up call about inadvertant miscommunication and understanding the context of where you come from. I am in a relatively big city – Toronto – having a great conversation with someone. This person looks similar to me…same skin color, same accent using English, laughs at the same jokes I have been, we discuss family, jobs….we are bonding I think. On the same page.
Then I ask a straightforward question like, “Where is Lake Ontario from here, how far is it?”
Delighted to help, they answer, “Once you get to the subway station, it is twenty minutes to downtown, then you have to either walk or take a bus.” They smile, pleased with themselves, happy to have the right answer.
Go figure. To me, that is no answer at all. I still have no idea how far it is or where from here. I did not realize that I am completely out of context. I am a country girl. I want to know what direction it is - North, South, East, or West. I want to know how many miles it is from where I am standing right now. They have no idea I am lost in the city. I need orientation…landmarks. That is how I get my bearings.
So I ask the clarifying question…what direction is it? How many miles to where the lake is? They look at me dumbfounded. They have no idea. I look at them dumbfounded. They don’t know where they are. They are in the city…and everything they know is relative to the subway. They live by commuting underground. I realize they have no idea where the sun rises and sets…they can’t see it because there are skyscrapers all around. They have no idea how many miles…they can’t travel that way. There are highways, and subways and cross overs.
Wow. Do you know, I have been in the city for over a week now, and I still have no idea how far I am from Lake Ontario? I’ve even seen it by train, but I have no idea where it is.
Context. It matters in communicating effectively.
It is an irony. This person is still a great person, and so are all the other people I have asked the same question of. None of them give me the answer I seek.
Now, think that is funny? Here is another. Right now I am looking at a city map…and there is no mileage scale, or no North-South Direction finder on it. It appears that it is irrelevant.
Who are these wonderful people who are just like me? Where am I? I laugh every time I go anywhere. I have no idea…and neither do they. It’s all relative. Relative to the system we think by…relative to our childhood upbringing…relative to the time, place and context we are in.
We have a good time anyway. Nice folks. Fun conversation. And, before I leave, I am determined to find out where and how far I am from Lake Ontario. I have an idea…but it will take a bit more sleuthing.
Posted: October 11th, 2009 under Uncategorized.